New Year's Resolution

~HAVE A SAFE & HAPPY NEW YEAR~

I'm off until 2010

The Forgotten Athlete

In 1979 a hot shot rookie strolled through Augusta, and captured his only Green Jacket in his first ever appearance at The Masters. This Cougar has capture 19 professional victories, including the 1984 U.S. Open at Wing Foot Golf Club. Known as the comedian on tour, this gentleman once asked, “If Tiger was going to serve fried chicken after he won the Green Jacket in 1997?” Who could this Hoosier be?

Trust me you didn’t want to get rocked by this Hurricane. In his first six seasons in the National Football League, this Miami standout rushed for over 1,000-yards five times. As the 8th pick in the 1979 draft, this tailback is the all-time leading rusher in St. Louis/Arizona Cardinals history (7,999 yards). Think you may know this Super Bowl MVP?

The Forgotten Athlete


In 1984 Fuzzy stood in the fairway waving a white towel, as he watched Greg Norman sink a birdie putt to tie him on the 72-hole. A day later it was Fuzzy who got the last laugh, as Norman waved the towel losing the U.S. Open Championship by 8-shots in an eighteen-hole playoff.



Frank Urban "Fuzzy" Zoeller, Jr. was born in New Albany, Indiana. In 1973, he joined the PGA Tour after a winning the Indiana State Amateur Championship. Zoeller’s first ever PGA Tour win came six years later, as he captured the San-Diego Open by 4 strokes over Tom Watson.

In the same year Fuzzy struck Green against Watson, again. This time Frank beat out Watson and Ed Sneed in a playoff for his only Master’s Championship of his career. Both of Zoeller’s Major Championships came in playoffs (U.S. Open in 1984 he beat Norman).

Through his career, Fuzzy has won 10 PGA tournaments, 2 Champions Tour wins (both majors) and 4 skins-games. In 1985, Zoeller was given the Bob Jones Award, the highest honor given by the United States Golf Association in recognition of distinguished sportsmanship in golf.

Guess old age got to Fuzzy though, because in 1997 while playing in The Master’s Zoeller had this to say about Tiger Woods after he won:

“"He's doing quite well, pretty impressive. That little boy is driving well and he's putting well. He's doing everything it takes to win. So, you know what you guys do when he gets in here? You pat him on the back and say congratulations and enjoy it and tell him not to serve fried chicken next year. Got it." Zoeller then smiled, snapped his fingers, and walked away before turning and adding, "or collard greens or whatever the hell they serve.

Currently Frank plays on the Champions Tour.

Around the Green with Fuzzy: On June 1, 2009, he launched a new venture, "Fuzzy's Ultra Premium Vodka.



If you are a Bills fan please turn your eyes away from the page now. In Super Bowl XXV O.J. was loose as he carved up Buffalo for 102 yards on 21 carries, on his way to the MVP.



Ottis Jerome "O.J." Anderson was born in West Palm Beach, Florida. A two-sport Star (Track & Football) in High School at Forest Hill Community, Ottis got a full-ride to play football for the Canes at THE U. While at Miami, Anderson was named Sporting News & and an AP All-American.

Ottis is currently the all-time leading rusher for the Hurricanes with 3,331 yards. After graduating with a degree in Physical Education (I am sure it was tough going to jump roping and ping pong classes at Miami) Anderson was selected 8th overall by the St. Louis Cardinals.

The Cardinals were awful his rookie season (5-11) but O.J. shined, rushing for over 1,000 yards. He was voted Offensive Rookie of the Year by the Associated Press. In his first two seasons in the National Football League, Anderson was an All-Pro.

Injuries would plague Ottis in the later part of the decade. In 1986, Anderson would join the New York Giants and would win the first of two Super Bowls with the G-MEN. Ottis would return to his old form in 1989, as he was named Comeback Player of the Year (14 touchdowns & 1,023 yards).

Fourteen seasons in the NFL, Anderson won two Super Bowls, was MVP once, rushed for over 10,000 yards and had 86 touchdowns.

As of today Ottis Jerome Anderson is a father of two. He is an entrepreneur and motivational speaker. He has been a broadcaster and co-host of three radio shows, as while as being the President of Ottis J. Anderson Enterprises.

A Helping Hand: Fast Facts about Anderson: Ottis currently serves on the Advisory Board of the Spina Bifida Association. He also plays a later part in charities such as the United Way of America, Boys & Girls Clubs of America, American Heart Association, National Multiple Sclerosis Society, The Breast Cancer Research Foundation, Drug Abuse Resistance Education and the Deborah Hospital Foundation.


***Athletics have given us an opportunity to escape from everything that is wrong with the world. For one moment in time these individuals were at the tops of their domain. Thousands of athletes though will never get to the ultimate platform. It's ok though because for one moment they may give us that UNFORGETTABLE MOMENT!

Buzz Kill

~FINAL FANTASY STANDINGS~

5 Leagues NO TITLES

1) 12 Team League: WashJeff College Characters
Record-10 wins & 5 loses *LOST IN THE FINALS*

2) 12 Team League: The Ohio/PA Battleground
Record-9 wins & 7 loses *LOST IN THE SEMIFINALS*

3) 13 Team League: Homer’s Finest
Record-9 wins & 7 loses *LOST IN THE SEMIFINALS*

4) 12 Team League: Old Men & Young Guns
Record-11 wins & 3 loses *LOST IN THE 1st ROUND*

5) 10 Team League: The Kotzur family fundraiser
Record-10 wins & 6 loses *LOST IN THE FINALS*


Total Record: 49 wins & 28 Loses

Congrats to everyone who won this year. I have personally sent hate mail out to Jerome Harrison, Adrian Peterson, Michael Turner, that bum of a backup running back in Washington that scores a pointless touchdown with 3 minutes left and oh anyone that plays for the COLTS.

Sincerely
Mario Sacco

Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow

Mario claims to be stuck in the blizzard of '93 in NY. I think he drank a little too much egg nog over the holidays...

Bi-Polar Disorder: Your 2009-2010 Pittsburgh Steelers

Bipolar disorder is defined by Google Search as : a mental disorder characterized by episodes of mania and depression, welcome to the 2009-2010 Steeler Nation. I can't put my finger on what kind of season they are having. The Steelers currently are un-comfortable to watch (like anytime you flip on "Jersey Shore" and hear, "The Situation" talking about how he can have any girl...by any girl he means ugly, amish looking, attention whores, who see MTV's cameras and want to make out with a douche...I would call that a situation). Wins over Baltimore, Denver, Green Bay, and Minnesota, then losses to Cleveland, Oakland, Kansas City, and Chicago...I don't know how to explain it...oh wait...yes I do. Our Defense cannot force turnovers, plain and simple. Our Offense is really good, but our Defense isn't good, which explains why we are 8-7, with wins over good teams, and losses to CFL powerhouses. Remember the Minnesota game, and the points of turnovers...since that game, points off turnovers have been non-existent. This is why we are where we are, staring down the harsh reality of a 9-7 season with no trip to the playoffs. Let's take a look at the games that will determine if the Steelers make the playoffs.



STEELERS AT DOLPHINS
The thing about this game that scares me is the Wildcat. An offense named after my high-schools mascot, not a good omen. Chad Henne threw 50 times yesterday, which doesn't scare me, because he's Chad Henne. I don't understand Miami and their offensive identity, when they win it's because they run the Wildcat to death, and when they lose, it's because they forget who their QB is and have him chuck and duck. Hey, maybe that Polaaammmlu guy will play this week, I heard he is a really good Strong Safety, I can't ever remember seeing him play....I wonder how good he is? Ben throws for 300 yards while stroking his cheesy porn stache, and his thinning sandy brown hair (mancrush is coming on strong right now). Steelers win by 10.

BENGALS AT JETS
This game is interesting because it features two teams that may play eachother the following week, so I don't know what the strategy will be for the Bengals. Rest their starters, lose, and possibly play Baltimore or the Jets again, or play their regulars for most of the game hoping to win, while hoping New England loses, and then they possibly won't play Indy if they win their first round game. If the Bengals want to really screw the Steelers, they won't play their starters. This game is being played at 8:20 p.m., so everyone's playoff fate will almost be decided by this time, can you remember a season finale game ever being in PrimeTime, I can't (it's because they are closing the Meadowlands, which is the armpit of the football stadium world, because it's housed two terrible New York teams, and people piss in the sinks their). Bengals led by Larry Johnson beat the Jets 11-6.

RAVENS AT RAIDERS
Charlie Frye holds the Steelers fate in his parkensons plagued hands. How is this guy still a quarterback in the NFL? I have no idea, he's terrible, he's stealing paychecks, he throws picks, he's a jerk in real life, he's a terrible human, how is he still employed? On a side note, I am going to create a slide show titled "Picks for Dicks", basically this is how it will break down: I will get all of Charlie Fryes, Phillip Rivers, and Jay Cutlers career interceptions on DVD. I will then play their interceptions, and each time a defender gets their hands on, one of the "dicks" terrible thrown balls, I will cut to a picture of that player, with a penis attached to their helmet, it's called "Picks for Dicks" it's gonna be great. Look for it at your local Dollar General Retail Stores in 2020. Baltimore beats Oakland 38-9.

PATRIOTS AT TEXANS
Bill Belichick makes me feel good about this game, because he's an asshole. This is another future playoff matchup, and Belichick probably wants to finish of Houston. I also feel better about his back-ups, when they do enter the game. Houston needs this game, their franchise has been very close to turning the corner, so expect a good performance out of the Texans. I am lost on how this game will go, so I am going with my gut, Patriots win 91-14.

CHIEFS AT BRONCOS
No chance in hell the Chiefs win this game. Plain and simple, I know, Kyle Orton is Kyle Orton, but his beard is magical, and that means alot. Denver wins this game, without Brandon Stokley getting ejected, unless instead of slapping an officials hands, he gives an overconfident ass-slap, and a ref gives him the boot. Denver wins 20-10.


So we are left with three teams at 9-7, the Steelers, Broncos, and Ravens. I still am trying to figure out this tie-breaker thing, but I think that leaves the Steelers out, because if three teams are tied, throw out head-to-heads, you also have to figure in the Wind Chill, if it's raining, the properness of Mike Tomlin's Soul Glo, and if your cable supplier is Comcast, because remember Rashard Mendenhall plays online games against his friends, on Comcast high speed internet.

Side Note: Check out C.J. Spiller's post game interview on ESPN after Clemson beat Kentucky, he makes Willie Parker sound like a Rocket Scientist...he can't speak...it's uncomfortable, but not as uncomfortable as watching the Steelers, or Jersey Shore....hey you know what? I just beat that beat up!

~Merry Christmas~ Off til Monday

Season's Greetings from homerspoets

Sacco's Schism...Santa's Naughty List

Being an Elf at the North Pole I got a chance to look at Santa's Naughty List. This year athletes have done an outstanding job of getting themselves into trouble. Santa this year will be handing out coal to:

those who have cheated on their wife, (once, twice or fourteen times) killed someone with their car, smoked the reefer one too many times or helped to fund a drug ring in the Rocky Mountains.

NAUGHTY ATHLETES OF 2009


Donte Stallworth- EX Cleveland Wide Reciever




Travis Henry-Ex Denver Running Back




Larry Johnson-Cincinnati Running Back




Michael Phelps-Olympic Swimmer & Gold Medalist




TIGER WOODS-THE STAR OF THE PGA TOUR




~HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO EVERYONE~

Sacco

POINTLESS FOOTBALL.COM BOWL

*The bowls have already started but here is the remaining games and my picks*

Las Vegas Bowl
Oregon St vs. BYU (-3) over/under 58.5
Take = Oregon St (+3)

Poinsettia Bowl
Utah vs. CAL (-3) over/under 52.0
Take = CAL (-3)

Hawaii Bowl
Nevada vs. SMU (+13) over/under 73
Take =Nevada (-13)

Little Caesars Bowl
Marshall vs. Ohio (-3) over/under 49
Take =Under

Meineke Car Care Bowl
Pittsburgh vs. UNC (+3) over/under 44.5
Take =Pittsburgh (-3)

Emerald Bowl
Boston College vs. USC (-9) over/under 44
Take =USC (-9)

Music City Bowl
Kentucky vs. Clemson (-7) over/under 52
Take =Clemson (-7)

Independence Bowl
Texas A&M vs. Georgia (-7) over/under 65
Take =Texas A&M (+7)

EagleBank Bowl
UCLA vs. Temple (+5) over/under 46
Take =Under

Champs Sports Bowl
Miami vs. Wisconsin (+3.5) over/under 59
Take =Under

Humanitarian Bowl
Bowling Green vs. Idaho (-2) over/under 68.5
Take =Bowling Green (+2)



Holiday Bowl
Arizona vs. Nebraska (-1.5) over/under 40
Take =Arizona (+1.5)

Armed Forces Bowl
Houston vs. Air Force (+4.5) over/under 62
Take =Air Force (+4.5)

Sun Bowl
Oklahoma vs. Stanford (+8) over/under 56.5
Take =Stanford (+8)

Texas Bowl
Navy vs. Missouri (-7) over/under 52.5
Take =Over

Insight Bowl
Minnesota vs. Iowa St. (+3) over/under 48
Take =Minnesota (-3)

Chick-Fil-A Bowl
VA Tech vs. Tennessee (+4.5) over/under 49.5
Take =Under

Outback Bowl
Northwestern vs. Auburn (-7) over/under 54.5
Take =Over

Capital One Bowl
Penn St. vs. LSU (+3) over/under 44
Take =PSU (-3)

Gator Bowl
WVU vs. Florida St. (+3) over/under 60
Take =WVU (-3)

Rose Bowl
Ohio St. vs. Oregon (-3.5) over/under 50.5
Take =Under

Sugar Bowl
Cincinnati vs. Florida (-11) over/under 57
Take =Cincinnati (+11) & Over

International Bowl
South Florida vs. N. Illinois (+7) over/under 49
Take =Over

PapaJohns.com Bowl
South Carolina vs. Uconn (+4.5) over/under 51.5
Take =Uconn & Under

Cotton Bowl
OK St. vs. Ole Miss (-3) over/under 50.5
Take =Over

Liberty Bowl
Arkansas vs. East Carolina (+8) over/under 63.5
Take =Arkansas (-8)

Alamo Bowl
Michigan St. vs. Texas Tech (-8.5) over/under 60.5
Take =Over

Fiesta Bowl
Boise St. vs. TCU (-7) over/under 55.5
Take =Boise St. (+7)

Orange Bowl
Iowa vs. Georgia Tech (-4) over/under 50.5
Take =Under

GMAC Bowl
Central Mich. vs. Troy (+3.5) over/under 63.5
Take =Central Michigan (-3.5)



BCS NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP
Texas vs. Alabama (-4.5) over/under 45
Take =Texas & Over

~ENJOY AND GOOD LUCK BETTING~

The Forgotten Athlete

USA...USA...USA...As a member of the Magnificent Seven this Teen-Phenom dazzled us at the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta. At age 15, she was a role model for teenage girls and a sex symbol for every teenage boy (Yes, I think I had a poster or 5 up on my wall of her). Who could this Hollywood star now turned wife be?

Can you name the starting infield for the Pittsburgh Pirates during there last winning season in 1992? During that season our athlete had the best year of his career, winning a GOLD GLOVE, while the Pirates went on to win the NL EAST. Those days are long gone for this Latin baseball-star turned Grammy award winning singer. ¿Que hora es.....?

The Forgotten Athlete


From the balance beam to the Uneven Bars Domi dominated. Under the guidance of famous Béla and Marta Karolyi, our teenage star helped team USA win Gold at the 1996 Olympics.



Dominique Helena Moceanu was the cute teenager who stole the hearts of the American public. As part of the Magnificent Seven, Dominique was born in Hollywood, CA to Romanian parents. At the age of three, Moceanu started gymnastics and by the time she was 12 she was a member of the US NATIONAL TEAM.

In 1995 she became the youngest US National Champion at the age of fourteen. At the Olympics she placed 4th in the all-around competition, just barely missing out on another Olympic medal.

In 1998, Moceanu left home and sued for legal emancipation from her parents in order to regain control of the money she'd earned professionally. The court approved her petition for emancipation and control of her finances. In 2000, she returned to the gymnastics floor only to be hampered by a knee injury (Placed 8th @ U.S. Nationals).

For five years Domi tried to return to gymnastics, but lingering injuries forced her to retire in 2006. Moceanu's last major success in gymnastics was the 1998 Goodwill Games, where she became the only American ever to win the all-around gold medal.

Currently, Moceanu is a business management student at John Carroll University. She also coaches part-time at Gymnastics World in the Cleveland suburbs, and conducts clinics and private lessons around the country.

On November 4, 2006 in Houston, Texas, Moceanu married long-time boyfriend, podiatrist Dr. Michael Canales, a former Ohio State gymnast. On December 25, 2007, at age 26, Moceanu gave birth to a daughter, Carmen Noel Canales. The couple's second child, Vincent Michael Canales, was born on March 13, 2009.

Off the mat about Dominique: Since emancipating herself from her parents, Moceanu has made up with them. Also she wasn’t even supposed to be in the all-around at the 96’ Olympics, but got in because Kerri Strug had to withdraw.


Jeff King, Jay Bell, Orlando Merced and Chico started in the infield for the Pittsburgh Pirates in 1992. It was Chico though who broke Ryan Sandberg’s run of 9 consecutive gold gloves by winning it in 92’. Chico was a career .254 lifetime hitter while playing for three professional teams (Pittsburgh, Kansas City & California) in 8 major league seasons.



José Lind Salgado , nicknamed "Chico", was born in 1964 in Toa Baja, Puerto Rico. As an undrafted free agent Lind signed with the Pittsburgh Pirates in 1982. In his rookie season in the BIGS Jose hit .322 for the Bucco’s.

After his Gold Glove performance in 1992 Pittsburgh traded away Lind to Kansas City for Dennis Moeller & Joel Johnston (WHO?). Chico’s career declined drastically though after being sent to the Royals. He was caught using cocaine in 1996 and was placed on waivers by Kansas City.

Lind’s career would end in California playing as a reserve player for the Angels. In 8 seasons at the major league level, Chico had 935 hits, and 324 runs scored.

Off the field Lind’s career was a train wreck. In 1996, he was arrested and giving a restraining order for beating up his wife. In 1997, in Tampa, Florida a highway police officers stopped Lind for leaving the scene of an accident. They discovered that he was visibly intoxicated, and that he had been driving while naked from the waist down. A search of his car revealed seven cans of beer and one gram of cocaine. Lind ended up spending a year in jail.

Recently, Lind has undergone rehabilitation and after his jail sentence he played for the Bridgeport Bluefish as a Player/Coach. He was promoted to head coach in 2003. After three seasons coaching in the Atlantic League Chico was let go.

Fast Fact about Jose “Chico Lind”: In 2009, he won a Grammy for his bachata single "Quiero Yuca con bacalao y cebollita".

***Athletics have given us an opportunity to escape from everything that is wrong with the world. For one moment in time these individuals were at the tops of their domain. Thousands of athletes though will never get to the ultimate platform. It's ok though because for one moment they may give us that UNFORGETTABLE MOMENT!

Mancrushes All-Around!

I didn't watch the Steelers game due to my second job (I didn't care how the game turned out), but as I was tossing baseballs to young students of the game (repeatedly saying squash the bug...sometimes I instruct like Chubbs did in Happy Gilmore...execept I can't look at a magazine while I do it) a certain excitement entered the facility I work at. "They are going to blow it again " said a rustic looking father, he was listening to the game with a group of dads, and they did not seem pleased. Soon after that I got a text message from a friend, that said the Steelers had one play left...(silence)...then I got another text message that said...TOUCHDOWN! Somehow, Ben managed to make a perfect pass to Mike Wallace, and the Steelers won.

As I was driving home I listened to the post game show, and heard that Ben threw for 503 yards. Wow, so much for being a running football team (I am ok if they don't run the ball, remember, sports teams change from year to year, forget that they used to run in the 70's), Ben is finally...THE MAN! I believe this was his 7th or 8th game winning touchdown drive in his career, and no one does it better than Ben. You are watching the greatest Steeler's QB ever...yes...better than Bradshaw. I never saw Terry play, but Ben does it better. No more criticizing Ben...ever...until he gets to be to old, and throwing to many interceptions...deal?

My mancrush for Ben is at an all-time high. He doesn't criticize his offensive line (who are auditioning for "Five Blind Mice"..., Bens actual bodyguards would be better than the turds he has in front of him). He doesn't take shots at the defense, because he is a team player (remember when everyone criticized Ben for just managing the game, "Their Defense wins games for them, he doesn't"...now Ben is winning games while the Defense continues to find numerous ways to blow games,). He doesn't make public remarks about the fans (Ryan Clark is gone...or should be...not because of what he said about the fans...but because he went to the Roy Williams school of tackling...which means no tackling at all). He is our savior, what your watching while Ben is here in Pittsburgh can't get any better...you won't see anyone like him...ever again.

Here are some Notes from the game (that I watched...early Monday morning):

-It's time the Steelers release Tyrone Carter...StuntCocks, in large porn orgies could knock ball carriers down better than the "BoneSaw"...or at least they would give a better effort.

-Great game Bruce Arians...I promise I won't criticize you for the next two games.

- How is Ike Taylor on the hands team for the onside kick? Ike couldn't catch gential herpes if he had unprotected sex with...(insert any man or womens name that you know...has gential herpes).

-Great call by Tomlin on the onside kick. My counterpart argues against it, but he is wrong. Mike Tomlin is right, if they kicked it away, the Packers would have scored with no time left (I've done this on Madden numerous times, it worked, and it worked for the Steelers). Ben isn't a rookie anymore, he is the franchise QB, let him win or lose the game, because the defense is constantly losing the game anyway. Ben might be in the Kurt Warner Zone (can win any game, or lose any game with 11 fumbles, 3 picks) but he still gives you a shot.

-Mike Tomlins post came press conference was great, these are his best quotes. "We play Baltimore next week, and they are really warm." "I wear that. I wear that like a badge of honor. That comes with the job. I don’t live in my fear, I just play and play to win and I don’t worry about being judged, I really don’t."

- Bill Hillgrove's call of the touchdown was magical...please listen to it.

- Can't we sign someone, somewhere, who can cover WR's? Honestly, what is Adam Archuleta doing, or Willie Williams, or just sign a super fast sprinter, who can back pedal...I can't believe they haven't found anyone better than the guys that play right now...wheres Tim McKyer (actually I heard he was seen in the North Side, snorting coke of Stan Humphries ass)?


Dougs Man-Crush List:

1. Big Ben
2. Zakk Wylde
3. Rob Mackowiak

REALLY MIKE? REALLY?

Jerome Harrison who are you? Why must you suck one week and play like Barry Sanders the next? And if you are a genius like me and left him on your bench you are probably no longer in your fantasy football playoffs.

From Harrison to Charles no name backs at the beginning of the year are carrying your teams into the championship next week. Gone are the Turner’s, Westbrook’s, and Forte’s who all at the beginning of the year were your top 10 picks.

Lastly I would like to send out my letter to Santa Claus.

Dear Santa:

I know I haven’t been the greatest of lil boys this past year, but if I am on the GOOD LIST could you please instead of a present, give me a fantasy football championship. You see I need Kevin Boss to have more points than Quentin Gathers tonight. If this does not happen I will know that you are just a big fake and you will be getting no jack and coke just milk and cookies.

Sincerely
Mario

As for my fantasy football advice here are the results:

*I went with a standard scoring system so points may vary depending on your league:

QB Jason Campbell-WAS
*PLAYS TONIGHT*

RB Maurice Morris-DET
Stats: 126 rushing & 5 catches for 35 yards receiving & 1 TD
=Total Fantasy points 27.1

WR Mohamed Massaquoi-CLE
Stats: 1 Catches, 3 Receiving *BUST*
=Total Fantasy points 1.3

TE Benjamin Watson-NE
*I THINK HE MISSED THE TEAM BUS*
=Total Fantasy Points 0

K Neil Rackers-ARI
*HURT*

DEF Seattle-SEA
Stats: Points Allowed 24, 0 sacks, & 1 INT
=Total Fantasy points 4 points


Stud Loco’s & Curly’s Late Night 2’s turned 10’s:

RB Jamaal Charles-KC
Stats: 154 Rushing, 2 Catches, 16 Receiving, & 1 Td
=Total Fantasy points 25.0

QB Drew Brees -NO
Stats: 298 Passing 1 Td, 1 INT, 2FL & 8 Rushing
=Total Fantasy points 15.7

WR Greg Jennings--GB
Stats: 5 Catches 118 Receiving & 1 Td
=Total Fantasy points 22.8

TE Fred Davis-WAS
*PlAYS TONIGHT*

K Lawrence Tynes-NYG
*PLAYS TONIGHT*
DEF Baltimore-BAL Stats: 7 Points, 4 INTs, 2 Sacks, & 2DFR
=Total Fantasy points 26 points

As I sat on the couch with my father watching the Steelers game we couldn’t help but to comment as to how we must be Bill Murray in Groundhog's Day. Week after week the Black and Gold would suck us in for three quarters, and than the forth quarter would come and it would be a repeat. This week was no different, as we saw Green Bay run up and down the field faster than my buddy this past weekend hitting the toilet after too many bowls of chili.

Now let’s talk about Mr. Tomlin. If one of you idiots out there wants to even try and say that was a smart call by Mike (Douglas I know you want too, you love Omar Epps) you are a moron.

Let’s go over the facts:

Green Bay was moving the football yes. Our defense had allowed over 400 yards of total offense YES. All reasons why we should of kicked it right? NO...

1. There was less then four minutes on the clock and the length of the field to go ( ok, I will be honest; the way Jeff Reed kicks off Green Bay would have had it at the 35).

2. This was not Brett Favre, it was Aaron Rogers a second-year starter who was playing at Heinz Field at night.

3. They needed a field goal to win, and their kicker was 24-35 on the year and had already missed from 38 yards.

4. I understand the Steelers Secondary sucks but Woodley & Harrison at any moment could have sacked Rogers and forced a fumble. They only got to him a few times in the game but Green Bay came in near the bottom of the league in sacks allowed.

5. I would like to think for just once this year our defense could stop someone when it counted. The way Jeff Reed stopped that towel dispenser from looking at him funny back in the summer.


Hit Triple ones well aiming for 20's...Green Bay D & Dustin Keller

Hitting a double 20 when you meant to hit a single...Ricky Williams, Brent Celek & TJ Househandzadeh

Bull’s-eye...Brett Favre, Roddy White, Miami’s D, Kyle Orton & Beanie Wells

~Hope you enjoyed this week's edition of Sacco's Words of Wisdom.



Sacco

Christmas Party Edicate!

Christmas is right around the corner and some of our readers may be going to numerous Christmas parties to celebrate this special time of year. Here at HomersPoets we want to give you a hands on, how-to-act, how-not-to-act manual for when you attend these parties.

PART-TIME JOB PARTY:

Let's be honest, your only going for the free beer and food. Come to the party a little late (like you had more important stuff to do, when you've had this date saved for a good two months in advance), destroy the finger food spread, have the maximum amount of allowed cocktails, and get out. If you stay to long, you will probably be going home with the middle-aged women who always trys to set you up on dates with her relatives.

FULL-TIME JOB PARTY:

You need to arrive to this function early. By getting there early, your boss will think that you actually care about the company, and that you enjoy your co-workers company. This social situation is a marathon not a sprint, so start with liquors on the rocks, eventually make your way into beer, because it's going to be a long night. You don't want to black out to early, because you will miss co-workers flirting with eachother or doing the inevitable: talking about the workplace, at the workplaces party. If dancing does begin, don't use your best stuff to early, because you won't have any magic left in the bag at the end of the night. Wait till the last possible moment to do pelvic thrusts, or hardcore grinding, because most of the people won't talk to you after you do that, or you will have Bruce (who is quiet and shy), asking you if you need a ride home.

COLLEGE SPORTS TEAM PARTY:

This party is meant to be a mature gathering for the immature. If you can get your hands on an ice luge, buy it. This party should be a shirt and tie affair, because when your in college you really never get to dress up (no jogging pants that sport boners Diesel!) Liquor for ladies, a keg for the guys. This is one of the times of the year that the pecking order and seniority shouldn't matter because it's the holidays (ahh screw it, get me a beer freshman). Don't pass out on a bed that is in plain sight, especially not beside two other guys, the male anatomy will be drawn on your face, or someone will try to set you on fire. Prepare for fights starting later in the night, because one of your teammates is going to bang your sister, and all the sister's on the team (not mentioning names). Lock your doors and any valuables because things will be stolen and destroyed...possibly even by the people that host the party. Make sure your playlist is party friendly (classic rock first, techno, than mostly rap..but watch the rap...it will attract shady individuals).

FAMILY PARTY:

At this point in your life, you are what you are. Feel free to drink as much, eat as much, make crazy political statments, with no consequences. You want to shock your family bad enough so they talk about you after you leave (bad attention is still attention). Don't let family members step on your views because you are younger ( if you survived college without a DUI or an underage, you are the equal of a fully matured adult...its a fact). If you take a date or lover to this party, don't feel the need to be around her or him the entire night, let them fend for themselves. If your date can make it out of the night without having sex with your dad, and they haven't said something terrible (like "A Woman could never be president, because their emotions aren't stable enough"), you might have a keeper.

Finally here are some more things you can do to make every holiday party memorable:

-Take pictures. You want to remember who you were dancing with, what you wore, and how out of control you were (I really had a vegetable in my ass, damn!)

- If your party has a guestbook, sign fake names like Mike Hawk, Adolf Ernipples, and Amanda Hugandkiss.

-Lucky enough to have Karaoke at your party, don't be afraid to sing favorites such as "I wanna Kiss you All Over" and "Get Off", when your singing these songs, make sure you focus on an older person, this will make the night uncomfortable.

- Don't think your a pig, if you take the last piece of an appetizer, your a closer...now finish!

- If someone talks about Tiger Woods use this Joke : "You know what the difference is between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa only uses three ho's, ho ho ho!"

Have fun, be safe, Merry Christmas!

Winner's Only Lounge NFL Selections:

Games Played on Saturday December 19th,
Sunday December 20th & Monday December 21st

Last Weeks Record:
Now is the time that I make my move. After a poor week two week's ago I was in the black this week (2 games over .500). My lock of the week is Arizona. After laying a dud last Monday Night I look for the Cardinals to come out and spank the Lions.

WEEK 15

1). DAL @ NO (-7.5) over/under 53.5
PICK-NO (-7.5)

2). SF @ PHI (-7.5) over/under 42.5
SF (+7.5) & OVER

3). ARI @ DET (+12.5) over/under 47
PICK-ARI (-12.5)

4). HOU @ STL (+12.5) over/under 43.5
PICK UNDER

5). CLE @ KC (-1.5) over/under 37
PICK UNDER

6). NE @ BUF (+7) over/under 40.5
PICK-NE (-7)

7). CHI @ BAL (-11) over/under 40.5
PICK UNDER

8). MIA @ TENN (-3) over/under 43
PICK-MIA (+3) & OVER

9). ATL @ NYJ (NA) over/under NA
PICK NA

10). OAK @ DEN (-14) over/under 37
PICK DEN & UNDER

11). CIN @ SD (-6.5) over/under 43.5
PICK SD (-6.5)

12). GB @ PITT (-2) over/under 41
PICK PITT (-2)

13). TB @ SEA (-6.5) over/under 39
PICK UNDER

14). MIN @ CAR (+9) over/under 43
PICK UNDER

14). NYG @ WAS (+3) over/under 44
PICK NYG (-3) & OVER

Sacco’s Fantasy Football Words of Wisdom...

Week 15: *PLAYOFFS*


Did you survive week one of the playoffs? If so, I’m sure you didn’t sit Ryan Grant and play Jerome Harrison. Stupid mistakes during this time cost you that chance at a fantasy title, but it also comes down to a little luck. Match-ups are always what we try to look for but sometimes you just have to go with the proven player.

1) 12 Team League: WashJeff College Characters
Record-10 wins & 4 loses *IN THE FINALS*
2) 12 Team League: The Ohio/PA Battleground
Record-9 wins & 5 loses *IN THE SEMIFINALS*
3) 13 Team League: Homer’s Finest
Record-9 wins & 5 loses *IN THE SEMIFINALS*
4) 12 Team League: Old Men & Young Guns
Record-11 wins & 3 loses *LOST IN THE 1st ROUND*
5) 10 Team League: The Kotzur family fundraiser
Record-9 wins & 5 loses *IN THE SEMIFINALS*

Total Record: 48 wins & 22 Loses

Four and one last week (thanks Kotzur for beating me in the highest payout league) has put me in great position for the money. I hope if you had Payton that you played him this week or MJD. This week I don’t plan on seeing any one player single handedly carrying your team (Brandon Marshall last week), but I do see a few pieces of coal turned diamonds.

Your Key addition of the week OR Pi Beta Phi’s turned Eazee DG’s:

1). QB Jason Campbell-WAS...Since the bye week Campbell has averaged 244 yards passing and has thrown 9 touchdowns to 5 INTS. He is at home on Monday Night against a defense that just got lit-up last week against the Eagles. Fred Davis & Thomas have started to emerge as good options in the passing game for Washington. They aren’t going to run the ball that much so expect Jason to have another solid outing this week.

2). RB Maurice Morris-DET...With Kevin Smith out for the year Morris gets the nod this week at home against the Cardinals. Last week Arizona got torched on the ground by Frank Gore. Morris is a far cry from Gore but DET sucks, so they will try and keep it away from Arizona. Maurice maybe sneaks you a touchdown to go along with 60 yards.

3). WR Mohamed Massaquoi -CLE...You think I would learn to never play a Brown, but I have gone off the deep end again. Massaquoi faces a Chiefs Defense that is near the gutter. Brady Quinn continues to look Mohamed’s way, it’s just a matter of will the pass be anywhere near him. Break out week at Arrowhead for Massaquoi, 4 catches 120 yards and 1 Kansas City two-step.

4). TE Benjamin Watson-NE...Since Moss has given up I am going to have to go with another Patriot. Watson really never gets a look unless it is in the redzone but I look for New England to be there a lot this week. Let’s hope for 4 catches 40 yards and a touchdown for Benjamin Button.

5). K Neil Rackers -ARI...I know I told you to pick him up last week and he was a bust (smooth move, sorry). This week he is back in a Dome to face the woeful Detroit Lions. The Cardinals are going to look to get back on track and hopefully Rackers can kick you 3 FGM and 4 PATS.

6). DEF Seattle-SEA...Ranked in the bottom third in total defense in the league I am telling you to pick them up this week. They face Mike Tomlin’s brother and the Tampa Bay Bucs who’s offense reminds me of my high school team-sophomore year (3 plays, toss left, toss right & play action for a sack). Mainly I am telling you to play them because I had no other choice and picked them up in two of my leagues. Hoping to get 4 sacks, 2 picks and a defensive touchdown, but I will settle for two turtle doves and a pear tree.


I was told last night that Jim has closed the Train Shop. Curly’s will remain open for business for the remaining 2 weeks, so still keep out those beer goggles.

Jim’s Train Shop Stud Locomotives & Curly’s Late Night 2 turned 10’s:

1) RB Jamaal Charles-KC...HEY JAMAAAAAAAAAL. Since the departure of LJ, Charles has been the main man in KC. This week he faces the Browns. Enough said...JC scores twice and goes over 150 total yards of offense.

2) QB Drew Brees -NO...I am a little bias this week since I need Brees to throw for 400 yards and 4 scores (thanks Payton for putting me in a huge hole after your performance last night). New Orleans has mastered three things, Jazz Music, how to legally show prostitutes without it being a crime, and scoring touchdowns. Drew and the fun bunch light up the board for 355 yards and 4 scores.

3) WR Greg Jennings-GB...Has Pittsburgh Secondary covered anyone this year? Your answer....NO! If Driver isn’t the one lighting it up against the Steelers it is going to be Jennings. If Rodgers gets any time to throw the football I expect Jennings to have over 120 yards and 2 scores.

4) TE Fred Davis-WAS...2 scores last week and another good match-up this week for Davis (@ home against NYG). Davis has been getting a lot of looks as of late, and I don’t think anything will be different this week. 70 yards and a touchdown for Fred to go along with 6 catches.

5) K Lawrence Tynes-NYG...The weather shouldn’t be too bad on Monday Night in Washington, and the Redskins defense has been pretty good this year. This sets up for Tynes to kick a couple of field goals. Let’s say 4 FGM and 2 PATS.

6) DEF Baltimore-BAL...Two Words...JAY CUTLER! That bum will throw picks left and right against a Ravens defense that needs this win. Forte has been a bust on the ground for Chicago and Cutler has turds as wide receivers. Big day for Ray Ray and the Ravens. 5 Sacks, 3 interceptions & 1 defensive touchdown.


STAY AWAY FROM: BRETT FARVE, RICKY WILLIAMS, RODDY WHITE, BRENT CELEK & MIA D

SLEEPERS: KYLE ORTON, BEANIE WELLS, TJ HOUSHMANDZADEH, DUSTIN KELLER & GB D


That’s all I have for this weeks addition for Sacco’s words of wisdom. Best of luck to each of your teams in the playoffs.

Thanks and keep reading the blog.



Sacco

Homer's Poets All-Decade College Basketball List

Five...Four...Three...Two...One...Your hopes to advance in the Big Dance has come down to a shoot at the buzzer. Everyone on the floor knows who is getting the ball, but it doesn’t matter.

From a mop top kid from Idaho to the inter-city Chicago boy who dropped a triple-double in the NCAA tournament these stars of the decade knew how to score.

As the decade comes to a close, I would like to look back at some of the outstanding players of the beginning of the 21st century. This is week two of our five week installment of players of the decade.

~SHOOTING GUARDS~


LUKE RIDNOUR



5) This mop top, Potato Boy was born in Idaho but played his high school ball in the state of Washington. Master Luke led the Blaine High School Bengals to back to back state championships in his junior and senior seasons. Ridnour was a McDonalds All-American and three-time AA Player of the Year in the state of Washington.

Luke joined the high flying ducks and started every game as a freshman and was named PAC 10 Freshman of the Year. Ridnour not only knew how to score (20 ppg.) but also could dish the rock (6.6 apg.). In 2002 Luke Skywalker Ridnour led the Ducks to the elite 8 (they haven’t been back since) and was named PAC-10 Player of the Year.

As the eyes of the three-headed machine,(at Oregon) Luke was an all-around shooting guard. He could take the big shot, (dropped 20 in the sweet sixteen) but could also dish it out and play defense too (ranks third and 2nd in assist all-time at Eugene).


RUDY GAY



4) According to the movie Wedding Crashers Maryland has two things...Crab Cakes and Football. Whelp...they also know how to play basketball. Rudy is the second player to make the list from the Old Line State. Gay grew up in Baltimore, Maryland and played for Archbishop Spalding High School. In his senior season Rudy was selected as the Washington Post Player of the year (avg. 21 points, 10 rebounds, & 4 blocks).

Gay was the prize recruit for the University of Maryland and coach Gary Williams, until he jumped ship at the last minute to attend Uconn. In his freshman season for the Huskies, Gay was named National Freshman of the Year. In his last collegiate season, Rudy was one four finalists for the Naismith Player of the Year award. He was a first team all-Big East selection while averaging 15 points, 6 rebounds, 3 assists & 2 steals a game.

Mr. Electric, is what I like to think of when I hear Rudy Gay’s name called. From monster dunks to explosive moves to the hoop Rudy knew how to energize an arena.

JJ REDICK



3) Hate him or love him this next athlete will go down as one of the best pure shooters the game has ever seen. Jonathan Clay Redick was born in Cookeville, Tennessee but played his high school basketball in the state of Virginia. Injuries plague JJ senior season, but came back just in time to led his team to the state championship (they went in 11-10 and he averaged 35 points a game in the playoffs). In the championship game, Redick dropped 43 for Cave Spring High School as they captured the Virginia State Championship.

The Devil wore blue, and in this case it was JJ Redick as he torched gymnasiums night in and night out in college. You named the award and I am sure Redick won it (ACC Player of the Year, Naismith Player of the Year, John R. Wooden Award, and the Oscar Robertson Trophy). He is the 13th player all-time at Duke to have his jersey retired. Redick is in the record books as the all-time leading three point shooter in NCAA history (457).

Silky smooth was JJ. He had range from anywhere on the court and everyone knew he was getting the ball but it didn’t matter. 2,769 points later Redick will go down as one of the best college players ever to lace them up.

STEPHEN CURRY



2) Three years ago we heard of this Wildcat who almost took down the mighty Terps in the first round of the NCAA tournament. Stephen Curry, the son of NBA’er Dale Curry since that time has giving us a book of great moments. Curry was born in Akron, Ohio (instead of offering Curry a scholarship The Akron Zips gave it to Doug McNulty), but played his high school ball in North Carolina. He is the all-time leading scorer with 1,700 points at his high school and was a North Carolina first team all-state selection.

Only three Division I schools offered Curry a scholarship (Davidson, Virginia Commonwealth, & Winthrop). Stephen decided on Davidson, and in his freshman season led them to the NCAA Tournament. In his junior season he helped to lead the Wildcats through a magical run in the NCAA Tournament (lost to Kansas in the Elite 8). Throughout Curry’s college career he averaged 25 points, 4 rebounds, 4 assists & 2 steals a game. At Davidson, Stephen scored 2,488 points and was a first team All-American and player of the year finalist.

The star that no one wanted was Curry when he came out of high school. When the brightest of lights were on this guy sure knew how to shine. Doing it pretty much by himself, Curry helped to take a no-name school to the NCAA Tournament 3 times and to the Elite 8 once.


DWYANE WADE



1) FLASH...with single leaps and jumpers he will kill your NCAA tournament bracket. Dwyane Tyrone Wade, Jr. grew up on the rough side of Chicago and played for Harold L. Richards High School. Flash never won a state championship but did avg. 27 points a game during his senior season. Not highly recruited, Wade's only offers were from DePaul, Marquette & Illinois State.

Wade decided to play for Tom Crean and the Golden Eagles but was ineligible his freshman season. In 2001-2002, D3 guided Marquette to a 26-7 record while leading the team in points (18 ppg.) and the conference in steals (3 per game). In 2002-2003 Flash was a one-man wrecking crew. He won the only conference USA championship in school history while averaging 21 points a game and 6 rebounds. Wade led the Golden Eagles to the NCAA Tournament Final Four. In the regional final (Elite 8) against Kentucky, (the #1 team in the nation) Wade poured in a triple-double (29 points, 11 boards & 11 assists). He became a first team All-American, and has recently had his number 3 jersey retired at Marquette University.

Speed & Vision have helped to define Wade’s game. At any time during his collegiate days, D3 could get to the hole and score. What set him apart was his ability to score no matter who was defending him (just ask Kentucky, I think they had 3 guys guarding him sometimes).


*If you disagree with this list let me know. Stay tune next week for the top 5 small forwards of the start of the 21st century.

Top 5 Sports Moments of the Past 10 Years...according to Doug!

Sorry for those avid readers who have been missing my daily posts (I was in Derek Bell:Operation Shutdown mode), but now I am back. With the anticipated Top Five List of Sports Moments that have occured in the last Ten Years (mind you, this is voted and ranked solely by me).


5. 2006 Fiesta Bowl: Boise State Beats Oklahoma 43-42

I hate college football...hate it (only exception is Ohio State), it frustrates me that a playoff system hasn't been developed for Division 1 Bowl-Subdivision-division-subdivision...or whatever they call it. I tuned into this game a few years back hoping Boise could somehow keep it close with Oklahoma. I was surprsied as I watched "the most entertaining college football game ever". It had drama (David vs Goliath), intrigue (wondering if Jared Zabransky was the greatest red-headed quarterback, ever to play in a BCS game), and a love story (Ian Johnson proposing to his girlfriend after he scored on the Statue of Liberty play). It was the closest football game that has ever ended like the movies would have written it. Nothing has changed with college football, TCU and Boise are undefeated and are playing eachother instead of getting a crack at the national title.

4. 2006 SuperBowl: Pittsburgh Steelers beat Seattle Seahawks 21-10

This was special because it was the first SuperBowl I witnessed as a Steeler fan. Ben played the worst game of his career (even though he scored a touchdown that should have been over-ruled), the Steelers got all the calls, and Cowher finally was rewarded for being the best coach without a SuperBowl. The playoff run that numerous football analysts said couldn't happen, did happen. The Steelers went into Cincy, Indy, and Denver, and shocked the world. Jerome Bettis finished his career with a ring, Willie Parker's stardom was born (short-lived, but still born) and Hines got the MVP.

3. 2004 ALCS: Boston Red Sox defeat the New York Yankees 4-3

Remember, the year before Aaron "fuc%^&g" Boone hit a walkoff to send the Yankees to the World Series, this only made this dramatic comeback that much better. The Yankees had the Red Sox on the ropes 3-0 but somehow, someway, the Red Sox found life and would eventually come back and win the series. In terms of historic relevance only a few teams ever lost a series when they were down 3-0, but the Yankees gladly became the latest team to blow a 3-0 lead. Schilling and his sock, Pedro pitching in Yankee Stadium...this was the greatest baseball post-season series to date. The Red Sox went on to win the World Series after beating the Yankees and now are loved throughout the United States.

2. 2009 Stanley Cup: Pittsburgh Penguins defeat the Detroit Red Wings

Coaching changes, deadline trades, the loss of Hossa, the Pens had drama from top to bottom. An epic late season run to get them into the playoffs, and destiny was waiting for them in Detroit. Every game was packed with excitement during the Finals. Two years in a row the same teams made it back to the finals...who would have thought? The way the last game ended in Detroit with Fleury making a key final save, put a cherry on the sundae for Pittsburgh Sports last year. Oh yea, Hossa didn't get a ring again!

1. 2009 Super Bowl: Pittsburgh Steelers defeat Arizona Cardinals 27-23

The Steelers dominated the league's toughest schedule since the 70's, they beat Baltimore in the AFC Title game, and they were about to play the most high-potent offense in the NFL...what a storyline. James Harrison's interception, Ben and his drive at the end of the game, and then: the catch. Santonio making one of the greatest catches of all-time...what an end to a glorious season. Two years in and Mike Tomlin already has a SuperBowl...I think it is easy to see why I ranked this number 1!

Sacco's Schism...Goodbye Touchdown Jesus

"You're 5 foot nothin', 100 and nothin', and you have barely a speck of athletic ability. And you hung in there with the best college football players in the land for 2 years. And you're gonna walk outta here with a degree from the University of Notre Dame. In this life, you don't have to prove nothin' to nobody but yourself. And after what you've gone through, if you haven't done that by now, it ain't gonna never happen." (Rudy Quote)



The University of Notre Dame...Pride, Prestige & Passion has been the stamp on Irish Football since the beginning of time. As we sit here in the 21st century the trademark of success in college football has swung away from South Bend and may never come back.

Three different coaches have roamed the sidelines since Notre Dame last won the national championship (1988 under Lou Holtz). Davies, Willingham, & Weis, all have taken their turns in the leprechaun suit. For them though, the pot of gold was never found over the rainbow (combine record of 91-67).



Welcome Brain Kelly to the land of so called promise. A land that has produced 7 Heisman Trophy winners, 95 All-Americans & 11 National Championships. Through the Golden Gates you now step, and into a world where the Golden Tates and Golden Arms (Jimmy Clausen) have vanished.

History tells us you just may be Touchdown Jesus. You have turned water into wine (winning two national championships with Grand Valley State), and you have resurrected, after once being dead (Cincinnati will be sending you Christmas Cards later I am sure). Mr. Kelly your manger is going to be placed under the brightest of lights, and it will be up to you to delivery gold, swine & frankincense in the forms of national championships.



Do I believe that Brian Kelly can turn around the Fighting Irish yes...Do I think he can return this program back to contending for a national championship year in and year out?

NO!!!

You see the world we live in now has so many temptations, and at every corner the DEVIL is baiting us to do evil things. In college football the DEVIL comes in the form of Gators, Trojans & Buckeyes.

Your Saint program Notre Dame, has fought off the urge to surrender to the ills of college football, and in return it has suffered excruciating pain. Kelly now must pass his scripture onto a different group of disciples, but this time it may be too difficult.

Grand Valley State University, Central Michigan, Cincinnati are all fine institution to get a college degree from, but lets face it they aren’t THE UNIVERSITY OF NOTRE DAME. At Grand Valley, a state school with an enrollment of 22,000, he had full authority over the players he was bringing in. This was a DII football team that got to bring in 35 scholarship athletes a year, and who knows how many more because of the cheap cost of tuition.

After dominating at the Division II ranks Kelly has masterminded two programs into surprising powers. Central Michigan has won 2 of the last 3 MAC titles and the Bearcats of Cincinnati are back to back BIG EAST champs. In 7 years at the D I level, Kelly is 53 & 22. Once again though these programs he has guided to success have a glaring weakness to them.



No offense to the type of players these two programs are bringing in, but are the athletes Kelly has brought in truly scholars off the field and in the classrooms? To get into Notre Dame you must have an SAT score over 1300 (past SAT scoring, I have no idea what that is equivalent to now), that is a far cry from the other institution where he has coach. I am pretty sure some of those players might not even know how to spell SAT.

Mr. Kelly we have heard that you are a genius when it comes to bringing in athletes, but to play for the Fighting Irish you must be a true STUDENT ATHLETE. Your time Brian Kelly, on this earth may be short lived, but to truly reach HEAVEN you must return the tradition of excellence to the Holy Land (South Bend) in the form of Crystal.

Oh and P.S you better do it fast or you will be gone before you know it.~



Sacco

Welcome Back

The Forgotten Athlete

OOOOOOOOOOO HHHHHHHHHHHH IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII OOOOOOOOOOO. As a former Buckeye and Guitar Player for the “Super Bowl Shuffle” this week’s forgotten athlete had more career interceptions than touchdowns. Wondering who this talented gunslinger that held the clip board, while Slash & Darth Vader played in front of him?

Can you name the third all-time leading goal scorer per game (average) in National Hockey League history? This Russian Rocket was a blur on the ice, and flat out knew how to put the puck in the net (5 times 50 or more goals). Off the ice our athlete had a little trouble with the KGB (Russian Mafia)! Still don’t know who I am talking about?

The Forgotten Athlete


A journey-man throughout the national football league, this week’s athlete played for five NFL teams. Collegiately he was Mr. Big time with wins over PITT in the Fiesta Bowl and also led Brutus and the Buckeyes to Pasadena (The Rose Bowl).



Michael John Tomczak known as the pride of Calumet City, Illinois is this week’s first forgotten athlete. Tomczak spent most of his NFL career with the Chicago Bears and Pittsburgh Steelers but also had stints in Detroit, Green Bay & Cleveland. In his 15 seasons under center (ok he mostly held a clipboard) Mike threw 88 touchdowns to 106 interceptions.

In High School Tomczak was the Player of the Year in Illinois his Senior Season. After receiving many offers around the Big Ten and the Midwest, Mike decided to attend THEEEEE Ohio State University.

While in Columbus, Mikey and the Buckeyes enjoyed great success. As a starter Tomczak led Ohio State to two Big Ten Titles. One of his most famous wins was on the road against number two Oklahoma. That year the Bucks went on to defeat Pittsburgh in the Fiesta Bowl.

Tomczak was drafted by his home state Chicago Bears in 1985. In 1986 Mike was the backup for the Bears, and received a Super Bowl ring when Chicago defeated New England in Super Bowl XX. YouTube the “Super Bowl Shuffle” sometime and you will see Mikey rocking out on the Guitar.

Tomczak’s career ended in 2000 while playing for the Detroit Lions. After being released from Pittsburgh, Mike signed with Detroit but never played a single regular season snap. In an exhibition game against Oakland, Tomczak broke his right tibia and called it a career.

Recently Tomczak has been seen doing commentary in Pittsburgh and for ESPN (he does have a communications degree from Ohio State). Currently Tomczak is a director at SMG Sports Management.

Fast Fact about Mike: Tomzcak is a father of four and his kids are huge Steeler Fans. Also during college Mike played for Earle Bruce at The Ohio State University.


At age 16 most of us are excited to be getting our driver’s licenses. At sweet sixteen this Russian Star was playing professional hockey for the Central Red Army team. In his final year in Moscow, (at age 19) the Russian Rocket was second in scoring with 35 goals.



Pavel Vladimirovich Bure was drafted 113th overall by the Vancouver Canucks in 1989. At 5’10’’ and 190 lbs the right winger Bure was a blur from the beginning. In his first three seasons, Pavel scored 154 goals and led the Canucks to the Stanley Cup finals in 94’.

Bure would never get back the 60 goal plateau after the lockout in 1995. In his 13 seasons in the National Hockey League Pavel was a six-time all-star. After spending most of his career with Vancouver, Bure was traded to the Florida Panthers.

The Russian Rocket ended his career with the New York Rangers. After knee problems hampered his play in the Big Apple, Bure called in quiets after another NHL lockout in 2005. Pavel ended his professional playing career (Russia & the NHL) with 437 goals and 342 assists.

Upon the announcement of his retirement in 2005, Bure was named Russia's Olympic general manager. As general manager, Bure chose the team for the 2006 Winter Olympics in Turin. The Russians, however, failed to medal, being shutout by the Czech Republic in the bronze medal game.

During Bure's playing career, much speculation surrounded Russian NHL players and their potential ties to the Russian mafia as both victims and associates. As Soviet players began defecting to the NHL, many cases of extortion began surfacing that the Russian mafia was targeting the players' families still living in Russia. Former teammate Alexander Mogilny was involved in such an extortion attempt in 1994, while Bure was reported to have made payments totaling in the thousands of dollars to Russian extortionists.

Fun Fact about Bure: Pavel used to date Anna Kournikova along with model/actress Dahn Bryan during his NHL career. Currently, he just won 67,000 rubles in a suit against British Airways. They kicked him off a plane in 2006 for mistaking him as a rowdy soccer hooligan.

***Athletics have given us an opportunity to escape from everything that is wrong with the world. For one moment in time these individuals were at the tops of their domain. Thousands of athletes though will never get to the ultimate platform. It's ok though because for one moment they may give us that UNFORGETTABLE MOMENT!

~Making it Rain~

After a week in the gutter the Sac Machine turned in a positive week for once. I am still going to keep my day job at Diamond Drugs, Inc. but more weeks like this and I will be STRAIGHT CASH HOMIE:

NFL Football
WEEK 14

9 Picked Correct
7 Picked Wrong
*Took SF(+3.5) & The Over(44.5) tonight

~On a side note: Bowl Season is coming up and with it one of the peak times for gamblers. If you are interested in filling out a bowl pick’em please let me know. I will try and make it available on the site but may have to send it out through emails~

Sacco

Survive & Advance

Dear Kurt Warner & Larry Fitz:

I know most owners want you to have great games but for just once can you suck. I mean Kurt, you guys can win the game but try not throwing for 300 tonight. I will take 185 and a score. As for you Fitz, pull a hammy. That’s right, I am up 30 points and the other guy has you two to play~

Sincerely
Mario Sacco

PS: NEVER START A BROWNS RB over RYAN GRANT or anyone for that matter. Thanks to my sweet advice to start Jerome Harrison I will be watching the playoffs from the sideline for the rest of the year. Thanks Joey for beating me with a bunch of turds.

As for my fantasy football advice here are the results:

*I went with a standard scoring system so points may vary depending on your league*

QB Joe Flacco-BAL
Stats: 230 Passing, 2 rushing & 1 Td
=Total Fantasy points 17.7

RB Chris Brown-HOU
Stats: 7 Rushing *HUGE BUM*
=Total Fantasy points 0.7

WR Devin Thomas -WAS
Stats: 2 Catches, 38 Receiving & -4 Rushing
=Total Fantasy points 5.4

TE Fred Davis-WAS
Stats: 3 Catches, 50 Receiving & 2 Tds
=Total Fantasy points 20.0

K Neil Rackers-ARI
*PLAYS TONIGHT*

DEF Buffalo-BUF
Stats: Points Allowed 10, 4sacks, & 4 INT
=Total Fantasy points 22 points


Stud Loco’s & Curly’s Late Night 2’s turned 10’s:

RB Chris Johnson-TENN
Stats: 117 Rushing, 3 Catches, 69 Receiving, & 3 Tds
=Total Fantasy points 39.6

QB Drew Brees -NO
Stats: 296 Passing 3 Tds, & -2 Rushing
=Total Fantasy points 32.6

WR Terrell Owens-BUF
Stats: -2 Catches 15 Receiving & 1 Td
=Total Fantasy points 9.5

TE Jason Witten-DAL
Stats: 4 catches & 49 Receiving
=Total Fantasy points 8.9

K David Ackers-PHI Stats: 4 extra points & 1FGM
=Total Fantasy points 7.0

DEF Baltimore-BAL Stats: 3 Points, 2 INT & 1 Sack
=Total Fantasy points 18 points


On my trip home last night from the CUSE I got to listen to Cleveland Sports Talk Radio. First off, I will commend the Browns on beating Pittsburgh. It took you guys 13 tries but by gully you guys did it. CONGRATS! Now Brady Quinn and the boys can go and do more PMS commercials. I seriously had to sit back and just laugh, as caller after caller called in to say what a monumental win this was for your team. Lets be honest, the only thing you got out of it was now losing the number 1 pick. SWEET MOVE…

Once again Steelers Fans saw the offensive line that drove us crazy last year, but suck it up Pittsburgh it’s the law of averages. The Steelers are down but maybe this is the year for the Pirates…HAHAHHAHAHA just kidding, too much BROWNS crazy talk has turned me a little insane.

Hit Triple ones well aiming for 20's...Zach Miller

Hitting a double 20 when you meant to hit a single...Cedric Benson & PHI D

Bull’s-eye...Jamaal Charles, Calvin Johnson, Derek Mason, Dustin Keller & WAS D

~Hope you enjoyed this week's edition of Sacco's Words of Wisdom.

Sacco

The Great Depression

Better luck next time Ligashesky.