OHHHHHHH NO! WE SUCK AGAIN!!!

Dear Mr. Huntington:


I am sending you this letter to personally tell you that I think this arm has a few good years left in it. My little league coach Mr. Kotzur told me that I had great stuff and that it was electric. I really never was that much of a hitter, but I can tell you guys really don’t put too much of an emphasis on that anyway.


(Shortly after this ball was thrown Charlie was placed on the IR due to a bad case of whiplash)


Along with me I would also like you to sign my buddy Doug. He has some minor league experience and his batting average is comparable to Jeff Clement. Actually he may have a better glove and I am sure that his bobble head will be a big hit (just don’t show him smiling please).






Now you may be set with a third baseman when you bring up Alvarez, but until that time I have just the solution. Simply call up Shaun Pfeil! This kid is a flat out winner; let me go over what he can add to the club:

1) Pfeil was a lifetime .360 hitter but his game was more than just hitting a baseball

2) You think Big Ben has a bad rep. with the ladies right now, just ask Shaun how the DG’s like him.



3) Most importantly, Shaun is a first class citizen (just don’t play any of your games near Ocean City, MD because I am not too sure he is allowed back there yet).




Finally Neil, I think it is time to let John Russell go. It is ok though because I have just the replacement. He was beloved in Pittsburgh for his speed and bat. He helped Pittsburgh to the National League Championship Series and was a key member of the double B’s. There are only three requests that he may have before you hire him:

1) Don’t asked if that was a little leaguer who threw the ball from left field against the Braves in 92’

2) Don’t asked if he knows how to read labels for anything that was placed into his body

3) Don’t asked for his history report (a few red flags may come up)






Other than that Mr. Huntington you are doing a fine job. It is great to see Milwaukee put up 3 touchdowns against our Bucco’s. Keep up the good work, if you would like to sign me or any of my suggestions just shoot me an email.



Sincerely
Mario A. Sacco